FIrst up yes this will be a rant with the intent to get emotions off my chest, so it won't be anything productive really. And no its not a call for help. At the most is probably a cry of attention which is selfish and self-centered, but its a want to at the least just express myself so I don't feel silent and leaving this completely bottled up. So with that said, feel free to ignore this thread as just by me hitting send I know I will feel better.
With that all said...
I love Bushido. Of every miniture game I've experienced, almost nothing comes close to it. I love its design that discourages meat-grinding, the simplicity of its mechanics, the focus on positioning, and the depth requires to really master it. I love it the point I've been planning for the past 1-2 weeks to start up a VLog Tactica on the game to help promote it further.
Unfortunately I am terrible at it when it comes to Tournament play.
Today we had our 4th Yearly Tourny. I played as Savage Wave and came last... which is the third time this has happened (in my first year I placed in the top 4 I believe, and even won best sportsman). While I accepted the loss in the years prior, it was because I went in with no practice games beforehand and minimal study of the rules. THIS year I had numerous games to get myself ready, knew every model I brought inside-out, understood how each was ment to work... and I STILL came dead last (my scores being:
I am now trying to find ways to justify it to try and soften the pain of what I considered was ample effort. I wasn't aspiring to win, I just didn't want to be last AGAIN. I try to convince myself its because I went with a 50-Rice Bakemono Horde and was paired up against temple each time (when their Indomitable countered my mob-reliant tactics). That there were numerous bad rolls. That my second game was against the best Bushido Tourney player in our area (who won the tourney the 2nd year in a row now), and that being demolished by him in a single move on turn 3 (where I felt almost helpless or highly restrained turns 1-2) set me in a headspace of failure for the following games. That any number of X, Y, Z should justify this reoccuring pattern.
But end result, I can only think and feel that the Wave may just not be designed to be Tournament focused. Temple and Cult seem to be brutishly strong in my area and, even when I've tried to build specifically to counter them, I can maybe scrounge a 1-0 victory at best.
I don't want to quit Bushido, the online community is nice, the mechanics are fantastic, and I would LOVE to play the Tournaments again... but it seems that I am just not ment to do this (at least not at the tourney level, and/or at least not with the wave).
I won't act too irrationally, but my desire is feeling I may need to sell the Oni and Gob's and seek something else. Hopefully one of the newer forces may have something worthwhile. But last year when i lost with the Wave I considered selling them up, but decided to put in the effort to give them a chance.
I've now put in the effort, I've failed once more, and feel absolutely foolish for the investment I've given this faction.
Anyhow thats all. For those who listened, thankyou. I'll give myself 1-2 weeks to mull these thoughts over, but right now it does feel that it may be time to reconsider my playstyle and seek environments that are more focused on fun, teaching, learning, and laughing - opposed to victory at all cost (including the emotions of others).